In the estates area, we see the damage that lies produce all the time. The deceased husband who leaves money to a previously unknown mistress, the parent who claims to love all her children equally, but makes a special bequest to just one, or the spouse who has led his or her partner to believe that they are well provided for financially, only to leave a trail of debt and deception at death.

Lies in an estates context can be particularly devastating because the liar is dead and nothing can ever be resolved. But in day-to-day life, lies can also have a pronounced, negative impact on our lives.

And there’s a lot being written about it. Jordan Peterson, the University of Toronto psychology professor who has recently gained millions of followers, devotes an entire chapter of his best-selling book, 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos, to one simple statement: “Tell the truth, or at least don’t lie.” You can see him explain the concept here.

Peterson himself is a polarizing figure, but love him or hate him, he makes a very strong case for telling the truth. It’s less about being a “do-gooder” and avoiding harm to others and more about the negative impact that lying can have on you over time.

We all tell lies, but the push to be more truthful is gaining momentum, especially with more people getting caught in a rabbit hole of lies in our modern world of texts and social media. This dating and relationship specialist makes the case for truth telling as well as anyone.

And what about those little white lies that we tell to avoid hurt feelings? Apparently, we may be shielding ourselves more than we’re shielding others. This article contains a very astute insight from David Livingstone Smith, Ph.D., professor of philosophy at the University of New England and author of Why We Lie. He says:

“One thing we deceive ourselves about is that we’re lying to protect others’ feelings. That’s not usually true. We often lie because we want another person to love us – we’re trying to protect ourselves from others’ disappointment, anger, or abandonment.”

Just a little something to think about … Thank you for reading,
Suzana Popovic-Montag