You likely saw Elton John’s announcement in January that he was retiring from concert performances, but would soon (in 9 months) be embarking on a three-year farewell tour.

John cited spending time with his children as the reason for his retirement saying, “Ten years ago, if you asked me if I would stop touring, I would have said no. But we had children and that changed our lives. I have had an amazing life and career but my life has changed. My priorities are now my children and my husband and my family.”

My question: you are age 70. You’ve been with your partner for 12 years, and neither of your two kids has reached age 10. And you announce that (in nine months) you will start a three-year tour that will finish in 2021. Are these the actions of someone who wants to give up touring?

I’m not so sure. While Elton John undoubtedly loves his husband and family, his actions (which have him touring until age 74 and perhaps missing the key development years of his children) may suggest otherwise.

Actions speak louder than words, and while no feelings may be hurt in this situation, they could be in many others.

Consider “actions” when planning your estate

There are a couple of areas where “actions speak louder than words” should be a mantra as you plan your estate:

• Assessing your estate planning actions: You may tell your children that you love them equally, but if your estate leaves an unequal amount to one or more of them, and these reasons aren’t crystal clear, you could unintentionally be inflicting emotional pain on those who got less. Since you are no longer in the picture, family members or other beneficiaries only have your estate actions on which to react. If you’re leaving unequal amounts to those who might expect otherwise, have a conversation when you draft your plans to explain your actions and avoid hurt and family conflict.
• Assessing beneficiary actions: You may be worried about a spendthrift child and their abilities to handle an inheritance, despite their assurances that they have things under control. Or you want to give to those who profess love and closeness to you, but rarely back up these words with actions. In deciding how your estate is structured (such as trusts for those who are financially incapable or irresponsible), put the words aside and look at the actions of your potential beneficiaries. They will likely give you a truer picture of the situation.

Thank you for reading … Enjoy the rest of your day,
Suzana Popovic-Montag