Tag: family dynamics
Cherished, memories, generational, and cozy, are just some of the words that evoke the magnificence that is the family cottage. It is this magnificence that leads many families to want to hold on to the family cottage as part of their estate plan. This is not always easy though, and the family cottage is often the centrerpiece of an estate dispute. As such, careful planning is key.
Those that want the cottage to stay in the family should consider a co-ownership agreement. The purpose of these types of agreements are to set out the governance of the cottage to ensure it is maintained and disputes are resolved.
Some of the key terms to consider in a co-ownership agreement include:
- how basic expenses will be covered, including hydro, telephone, maintenance, and property taxes;
- how extraordinary expenses, including capital expenses, are to be paid;
- when payments are to be made and to whom;
- which family members are allowed to occupy the cottage, and when;
- are guests permitted;
- should there be a management committee charged with making certain decisions;
- what mechanisms should be used to resolve disputes;
- the procedure for the sale or transfer by a co-owner; and
- what happens upon the death of a co-owner.
If the Kardashians can teach us anything about estate planning (and you know that given the title, there had to be a Kardashian reference), it is that family dynamics are in flux. New relationships emerge, siblings develop different values and beliefs, and sometimes, problems arise. A good co-ownership agreement is not cookie-cutter, but a carefully crafted document reflecting the uniqueness of each family member that can evolve over time.
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We were proud to support the second annual Family Dispute Resolution conference, “FDRevolution,” held by the Family Dispute Resolution Institute of Ontario (FDRIO) last week. The FDRIO mandate includes providing information for the public and legal professionals about family dispute resolution (FDR) processes and options.
The primary focus of the FDRIO is, unsurprisingly, family law. There is a lot, however, that those of us who practice in estates can learn from FDR. We have blogged many times about the importance of family dynamics in resolving estates disputes. Last week’s conference provided a lot of valuable information about managing family relationships and effectively avoiding and resolving family disputes.
Remember culture affects everything
Baldev Mutta and Amandeep Kaur of Punjabi Community Health Services, Peel Region gave a presentation on cultural competence. They reminded the audience that culture affects decision-making, communication, and social interactions.
Legal practitioners must be aware of how culture affects their own perceptions and a client’s perceptions of a legal issue. It is important for lawyers and mediators to suspend judgement and recognize how a client’s cultural lens is different from the dominant “Canadian” culture. FDR practitioners can better help clients by asking clients to identify and describe their perceptions of the conflict or issue and then determining what values and beliefs led to that perception. Understanding how and why a client is making certain decisions can help lead to a successful resolution.
The importance of Emotional Intelligence
The keynote speaker Karen BK Chan spoke about the importance of emotional intelligence (EI) and provided some practical tools to use in dispute resolution. Chan suggested that EI is twice as important as IQ or technical skills, which she described as “threshold capabilities.” A high EI can help lawyers and mediators manage tense situations. Some practical tips for strengthening EI include: listen to , ask for, and reflect on feelings; promote empathy between parties in order to facilitate dialogue; and to name and normalize strong emotions.
For information about the FDRIO and news and events, see their website.
Thank you for reading.