“To weep is to make less the depth of grief.”
(Henry VI, Part III Act II, Scene I)
The numbers are breathtaking: over 12,000 Canadians have died of covid-19. Between covid and non-covid deaths, over 1.2 million Canadians are in some stage of grief. With the holidays just over the horizon, and the numbers showing no signs of ebbing, this time of year, already fraught for so many, is going to pose new and difficult challenges for so many of us. And according to Naheed Dosani, a palliative care physician and health justice activist, we’re not talking about grief enough.
In a recent interview with CBC News, Mr. Dosani shared his experience with “grief circles,” a gathering of colleagues where tears laughter and memories are shared in honour of the people for whom they have cared. Grief circles have moved online, but the number of participants are increasing, partly, he says, “because there’s more grief than ever before.” Shelly Cory, executive director of Canadian Virtual Hospice, sees this as “the hidden crisis of the whole pandemic.” Cory is a co-founder of the Canadian Grief Alliance, a coalition of leaders in bereavement and grief:
“Canadians have been robbed of goodbyes with dying friends and family or people they care about and forced to grieve in isolation without funeral rites. They and those working on the front lines of health care are at heightened risk for prolonged, complicated grief marked by depression, and the risk of suicide. Existing grief services are fragmented, under-funded and insufficient. Left unaddressed, significant long-term social, health and economic impacts will result.”
While Ms. Cory and Mr. Dosani are urging the federal government to implement a National Grief Strategy, the stark numbers reveal a tragic truth: we’re not talking to each other enough about grief. While lockdowns and safety measures may be preventing us from being present with a loved one at the end, grief and grieving is itself in a kind of quarantine. Unable to hug her mother and father-in-law after the death of her husband, Heather Ramey recently told Maclean’s magazine, “I want something more for my children other than this.”
Complicated grief, more than just prolonged sadness, can have devastating effects including PTSD, depression and suicidal thoughts. Pandemic related isolation and loneliness, and in particular around the holidays, can make matters more pronounced, or even worse.
It’s hard, it’s sad, but grief is still a process like any other. While grief is unique to each of us, the Centre of Addiction and Mental Health (“CAMH”) reminds us of a few suggestions to get started:
• Get clarity by naming the struggle and identify five things that have been hard, then tackle
them one at a time.
• One day at a time. If we only focus on smaller issues in a given day, we break things up
into smaller, more manageable pieces.
• Self-care, self-care, self-care. While grief can often lead us to take care of others, check in
with yourself every day. Take some time for yourself and be compassionate with yourself.
• Talk to someone. As the saying goes, “a burden shared, is a burden halved.”
It’s this final point that remains so challenging during a lockdown.
While there are several online resources and articles from local hospitals to the Harvard Business Review, it’s critical to remember to reach out and show your support, or ask for support, during a difficult time. Be it a front-line health worker like Mr. Dosani, or a colleague from years ago, or a friend you haven’t heard from in a few days: We need to talk each other more.
Ian Hull and Daniel Enright
Once a donor has agreed to donate funds to a charitable institution, are they entitled to have any input as to how those funds are spent? Does that donor have any recourse if their funds are not being spent the way they envisioned? Faas v. CAMH, 2018 ONSC 3386, 2019 ONCA 192 provides some insight regarding these questions.
At the direction of its principal, Andrew Faas, the Faas Foundation agreed to donate $1 million to the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health and its fundraising arm (collectively “CAMH”). The funds were to establish a mental health program entitled “Well@Work”. Accordingly, Mr. Faas’ payments were to be made in installments of $333,000 each year for the next three years.
Mr. Faas signed a Donor Investment Agreement (the “DIA”) which outlined a proposal for the program. The DIA also provided that an annual status report was to be provided to Mr. Faas. Nearly one year into the development of the program, Mr. Faas informed CAMH that he was not satisfied with the program’s progress, the extent of reporting or the expenditure of the donation. The parties reached an impasse with regards to these matters and Mr. Faas refrained from making the remaining two payments. He also requested that CAMH forward any money not spent on the first installment to another Canadian agency. However, all of the money for the first year had already been spent by CAMH on the development of the program.
In response, Mr. Faas commenced an application based on section 6 of the Charities Accounting Act which provides:
(1) Any person may complain as to the manner in which a person or organization has solicited or procured funds by way of contribution or gift from the public for any purpose, or as to the manner in which any such funds have been dealt with or disposed of.
. . .
(3) Wherever the judge is of opinion that the public interest can be served by an investigation of the matter complained of, he or she may make an order directing the Public Guardian and Trustee to make such investigation as the Public Guardian and Trustee considers proper in the circumstances.
The Ontario Superior Court of Justice found that there were no grounds on which to order the Public Guardian and Trustee (the “PGT”) to conduct an investigation because there was no identifiable public interest. Furthermore, no mischief was identified and nothing in the records indicated that CAMH had mismanaged the funds.
Justice Morgan stated that inquiries under the Charities Accounting Act should not be initiated lightly and that they should not “simply be for the sake of meddling.” They must only be invoked when real mischief to the public at large exists.
Mr. Faas’ complaint was not that CAMH had failed to use the donation for their own charitable objectives but that they did not use their donation in a manner that conformed to Mr. Faas’ personal vision. This did not go against public interest, but rather a private one.
The Ontario Court of Appeal agreed with the decision of the Ontario Superior Court of Justice and dismissed the appeal.
Faas v. CAMH emphasizes that while an unsatisfied donor does have a potential recourse of asking the PGT to conduct an investigation under the Charities Accounting Act as to how their funds were spent, an investigation will not be initiated without some evidence of mismanagement. As such, once a donor has agreed to make a donation, and as long as the charitable organization is not mismanaging the funds, the donor cannot retract their donation simply because the organization is not strictly adhering to the donor’s vision.
Thanks for reading!
Ian Hull and Celine Dookie