Mediation and other out of court dispute resolution processes are being increasingly relied upon to resolve civil disputes. In March of 2026, the Ontario Association for Family Mediation (the “OAFM“), with the support of the Department of Justice Canada, released the HELP-M Toolkit: Identifying and Responding to Family Violence and Power Imbalances in Mediative Approaches (the “Toolkit“). While chiefly applicable to a family law context, the Toolkit raises questions that are relevant to anyone engaged in mediation, especially those of us who mediate estate and trust conflicts.
What is the Toolkit?
HELP-M adapts the federal HELP framework, originally designed for family law legal advisers, for use within mediative and interest-based dispute resolution. The Toolkit is based upon a national consultation involving 20 organizations across five provinces and more than 500 hours of engagement with mediators, arbitrators, interdisciplinary professionals, and members of the Ontario Court of Justice and the Superior Court of Justice.
The Toolkit is organized around the “CARE” Framework of Competence, Accountability, Relational Ethics, and Empathy, and is delivered through written guidance, visual decision-support tools, and a screening instrument of 45 questions across 12 areas of inquiry.
The Central Reframing: Suitability Over Determination of Facts
A central feature of the Toolkit is its reframing of process screening. HELP-M does not ask the mediator to determine whether violence “really happened,” to weigh evidence, or to make findings of fact. It positions those functions as belonging to courts and investigative bodies. Instead, the Toolkit directs the mediator to screen for process suitability by asking whether participants can speak freely, disagree without fear, and make decisions without coercion, intimidation, or exhaustion.
The Toolkit frames this as a distinction between an investigative role, for which it says mediation is poorly suited, in contrast to the assessment of whether the process itself can proceed fairly.
Neutrality Has Limits
The Toolkit addresses the scope of mediator neutrality directly. It states that mediators remain neutral as to outcomes, but that neutrality does not extend to harm, coercion, or silencing. Where those are present, the Toolkit takes the position that the mediator has an ethical obligation to adapt, pause, or terminate the process. It notes that this position aligns with the OAFM Standards of Practice, which, on the Toolkit’s account, affirm that family mediators are not required to remain neutral in the face of harm.
The Toolkit also acknowledges the institutional pressures that can make pausing or ending a process feel risky, including expectations to keep matters moving and to prioritize settlement. It states that it seeks to legitimize protective decisions by anchoring them in professional responsibility rather than individual discretion.
Coercive Control and Litigation Abuse
HELP-M treats coercive control as a core risk pattern, extending beyond physical assault to financial deprivation, surveillance, isolation, and legal or procedural harassment. It characterizes “litigation abuse” — the use of court processes, filings, and procedural rules to delay, exhaust, or intimidate — as a continuation of control through other means.
Relevance Beyond the Family Context
The Toolkit is a resource directed at the family context. Several of its themes nonetheless intersect with issues that arise in estates and trusts work. Coercive control, financial dependency, and diminished autonomy are recurring concerns in matters involving elder abuse, undue influence, and questions of capacity. Where estate disputes are mediated, practitioners may encounter power imbalances that bear on a party’s ability to participate freely. The Toolkit’s treatment of the distinction between apparent agreement and genuine, informed consent is one theme that may be relevant to consider in other mediative settings.
Practitioners who mediate any category of civil dispute would benefit from reviewing the Toolkit and considering how its principles may enhance their own practice.